We all experience difficulty in our relationships throughout our lives; work stresses and strains, differences in parenting style, blended families (step parents/children, adoption), financial problems, differing ambitions and expectations, illness, sexual issues, children’s behaviour, exam stress – these are a few of the issues that can put a strain on relationships. Partners and family members will all have differing coping styles including; talking things through, withdrawing, becoming down, anxious or angry.
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It can feel almost impossible to work through our relationship difficulties when our styles of coping clash and our needs feel so different. My work in this area focuses on creating an environment where you can talk openly and honestly with each other. It encourages more effective communication and an opportunity to explore problems and find ways of understanding each other and moving forwards. My training in this work is also person-centred and encompasses the same philosophy although I draw on other approaches to help people understand barriers to communication and to make sense of their relational dynamics.
Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy – DDP/Attachment Focused Family Therapy
I have undertaken DDP Level One and worked extensively with children and their families. If you are interested in this approach please call me to talk through the benefits, how I work and how I may be able to help you. DDP is a really helpful therapy for any family experiencing difficulties in supporting their child/children for any reason. I have used the approach successfully with children with ADHD and anxiety problems. Children can experience difficulties throughout their early and teenage years which may exhibit as behaviour difficulties, withdrawing and isolation, family conflict and school problems. My DDP/attachment focused approach aims to help parents and children communicate more successfully and for parents to understand their child’s behaviour and find ways to bring the family unit closer together.
Work with adopted/foster children & young people
Dan Hughes, a Clinical Psychologist, created Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP) as a treatment for families with adopted or fostered children who had experienced neglect and abuse in their birth families and suffered from significant developmental trauma. DDP is based on and brings together attachment theory, what we understand about developmental trauma, the neurobiology of trauma, attachment and caregiving, intersubjectivity theory and child development.
Children who have been in the care system may have had many changes in the people who look after them and find it hard to trust adults. They may believe that parents aren’t safe and can’t always be turned to for comfort and help. They may develop insecure attachments and try to stop their new parents from becoming emotionally close to them.The therapy helps the children learn to trust. It is family-based and involves the child with his or her caregivers. I have worked with Local Authorities to provide therapy for adopted children and their families.
Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy
Central within DDP is PACE, a way of thinking which deepens the emotional connections in our relationship with others.
Playfulness brings enjoyment to the relationship. Acceptance creates psychological safety. When we curiously explore within a relationship we express a desire to know the other more deeply. Empathy communicates our curiosity and acceptance, as we recognize and respond to the other’s emotional experience.
Further Reading: ddpnetwork.org, www.adoptionsupportfund.co.uk